Monter-iz-ay!!!
Tuesday, January 20th, 2009
Yo yo yo it’s Darlo! First blog post unda my cyba-pen!
The Iron Hand, the Hook & Crook, The Piggly Wiggler . . . can you see a pattern here? Yeah, that’s right, they’re all gay theme bars, and we’ve had the “pleasure” of rocking every one. Now, I’m not saying that I have a problema with the gays, oh my God I’ve kissed plenty of guys on ecstasy, but seriously, Abraxas, why have you forsake us so? Herewith is a rundown of those three shows. I’d include pics but I can’t figure out how to do that technological shit. Probably that’s why they don’t want me to blog.
The Iron Hand is on the outskirts of Monterey, which is, yes, I know, the place with that 60s rock festival where Hendrix burned his guitar, well, so what, things have gotten a lot sleepier since then. Oh wait I just figured out how to attach pics so here’s a pic of the place we stayed:
Days Inn in totally under-rated. They had great coffee!
Before the show we went to the street festival. RAD burgers!
Bobby got an Elephant Ear and I smeared it all over his face!!!!
Ok so The Iron Hand was this Chain-Mail mediavel Fetish bar. All the bartenders were dressed up like they were going to rush into battle against the fucking Vikings. And they were all gay! One of them hit on me, and I was like, Dude, keep those shots coming tonight and we can totally get down! (NOTE TO JOEY: See how I’m not being gross and freaking people out??) Anyway, I felt bad for Bobby because no one was hitting on him, but dude’s just got that creepy skutch-vibe. And all the armored-up boys were totally digging Shane’s cast, stroking on it and shit. Joey showed people her lack of a gag reflex by putting an entire banana down her throat after a bunch of Alabama Slammers (NOTE TO JOEY: I can tell people that right?) and though the sound system sucked and the crowd was just a bunch of old salty gay sea admirals, we had a pretty good time. Got to give Shane props for shimmying so good on stage even though he’s sitting down the whole tyme. Soon I’m gonna get that bitch up on those crutches!
Rock on, MONSTAS!!!!!