Staples, and the question of revenge

You are all no doubt familiar with Staples, the fine paper/computer establishment:

Pretty, isn’t it?

Anyway, when I first saw the Tour routing I called up Abraxas and was like, uh, Staples? Is this a joke? Don’t  you love me anymore? Did I steal your drugs and am now doing penance? She replied that, Oh, no, man, this is a new proto-type of Staples, the first one is in Santa Barbara, and it’s a, uh, Staples with a back room where bands perform. Now I know you are laughing and thinking, How stupid are you, Joey? And you’d be right to make that claim, but it’s just that Abraxas and I go way back, and we’ve had so many great times together, if you know of what I speak, and . . . how could she have done this to me? Do you know how humiliating it is to drive into a shopping center with your band and realize you’ve been the victim of a cruel practical joke? Bobby and Adam went into the Staples to inquire and they were laughed out of the place. We had to restrain Darlo from going in and kicking their red-and-tan uniformed asses. And Shane won’t stop complaining about his cast; so annoying!

Now the band think I’m back to my old incompetent ways, which they detailed in great detail at the Chilis we went and ate at which was in the same shopping center. Darlo called Abraxas to give her a piece of his mind and her message let us know she was at Eselen up in Big Sur on a meditation retreat. Have you ever been to Eselen? NOT CHEAP. Well she’s got in coming to her. Tomorrow, on the way to the show in Sacramento, we’re make a diversion and bust in on her meditating ass. Get ready, bitch!