Music
Wanna Play With Us?
Darlo here. Some say that we’re the worst band ever; to that I say two things. One, fuck you. Two, if we’re so terrible how come people want to cover our songs? Here’s a bunch of Blood Orphans fans who love us so much that they’ve put together and sent their own versions of our immortally great music. Suck on this, haters!
The Wipes- Double Mocha Lattay
Magpie Jerk Pony and Ethereal Binges met whilst honoring the yoni at a naturist colony in Big Sur in the 70’s. They bumped into each other at the seafood buffet and recognized each other from the balloon / stickers shop they frequented in Santa Cruz. They have cultivated their love of laplandic folk instruments, scrapbooking and glue sniffing ever since. Their latest offering, Double Mocha Lattay, recorded between classes at the private junior high where they work as music teachers / counselors / girls softball coaches, has the couple realizing their full artistic potential, as channeled through Blood Orphans.
DoomZoo- Landing Strip Blues
DoomZoo is the brainchild of Led Belly Bald Bottom, an old man of selfish ways. This song, his favorite by Blood Orphans, was recorded in a holding tank the morning after his divorce, before he died of an unspecified venereal disease.
Ricebelly- Brad’s Really a Girl
Ricebelly, the Kamchatka Peninsula’s hottest funk-master, is so very pleased to present his favorite band’s best song, “Brad’s Really a Girl.” Standing six foot six and wearing only a rubber thong, Ricebelly thrills Russian army bases with his stunning spoken word explorations of the human psyche. He first heard Blood Orphans on a shortwave radio in his yurt on the Siberian plains. Of Blood Orphans, he says, “I have panda bear. Bite you in ass. Cure you everything!”
The Magic Carpet Riders- Hella-Prosthetica
The Magic Carpet Riders are Everett’s best classic rock cover band. The Gig Harbor News Tribune called them “the worst thing that ever happened to pop music. After, of course, Blood Orphans.” They take that as a compliment, according to Future Bastard, the lead singer: “All I can say is, B.O. stands for more than body odor. You know what I’m saying?”